I have a very small close-nit group of girlfriends and these girls I consider all my sisters since I have no actual siblings. One of them in-fact, is my Sorority sister from Ole Miss. Jacque (Jack) we I had this immediate bond and became best friends so quickley. If it wasn't for her I would have gone into another sorority. Who knew four years ago we'd be tested with life in general.
Me and Jacque I guess you would say were the "basic" sorority girls, except we never looked down upon others or made others feel less of themselves like some sorority girls do. But we did have it all... or should I say "our version" of it all... money, grades, good looks, the best major, football friends, popularity with Sigma Chi and SAE guys basically everything a standard Ole Miss girl wants.
Flash forward to today, four years later and everything is so different.
Just this past year and a half we've both been through our version of hell and back. I'm a firm believer in, "God puts friends in your life who will be willing to go through dark waters and times with you." Jacque has been my right hand girl and I hers. Not to say my other girlfriends haven't been there for me or us and some have had their small tests and challenges in different ways, probably one aspects of their lives, unlike me and Jacque where everything has been a struggle or a spiritual battle.
Jacque has always been strong within her faith. I remember she would always go to church on Sunday, she would ask me to go with her and I'd go... if I hadn't gone out the night before. Yes, I did indeed go through my party phase... I went to Ole Miss... I think it was a right of passage for me. While I wouldn't go to church every given Sunday, I still had faith and love in Father God, but I held other things more important to him. I basically saw him has this intangible thing that I knew I needed to believe in and didn't get the full meaning of being completely vested in your faith until things in my life got shake and I needed something bigger than me to trust and love.
Today Jacque's mom, Mrs. Anne, (who's basically my second mom) tells us that we should never put an object before God. That he should come first and everything else follows. That if we put him second we will be tested until we realize that he is the most important thing.
I'm not here to tell you to love God and that you need to stop what you're doing and get on your hands and knees to pray, because I truthfully can't stand those people who push their religious opinion onto someone else... BUT, I will say what Mrs. Anne said does shed light and clarity onto a lot of things.
I haven't really said much of what's gone on in my life the past couple of years and I probably won't get into it until I finally publish my book and start actually speaking to crowds to motivate them, but I can say it has been a struggle.
I used to be the girl every one was jealous of (I know this because someone I knew told me she was jealous of me in plain conversation), the girl everyone thought had it all: the great family, the girl who's grandparents would step up if mom or dad refused to do something, the wealthy daddy, popular Mississippi status boyfriend, nice clothes and accessories, and for a long time I prided myself on those things. It was like I wasn't superficial but I was. And truthfully, even though going through this experience and loosing things has sucked, I truthfully wouldn't change the knowledge I've gained for anything. I can say at this age I've become wise on life.
Jacque told me today that she needed this to happen, that she needed to be tested in her life to bring her closer within her faith and herself. She's been trying for a while to get a specific score on the LSAT and she has accomplished it. But she felt that she wasn't ready mentally for law school (law school can be a scary thing). At first she kinda hated that she had to move back home and live at home with her parents, but if she hadn't, she wouldn't have felt the pain and suffering of her family situation to move ahead with her life. She wouldn't have become stronger and she wouldn't have opened up her heart more to love.
She said today that we should feel blessed to be going through these experiences at a young age rather than later in life. I couldn't agree more with her. I would rather have all four side crumbling down at my feet now than to live my version of "perfect" and not be able to deal or handle it down the road.
I guess what I'm saying is this, we all go through crap. Some of us have to face it alone while others like me and Jacque can use each others positivity to move forward and ahead. I'm blessed to have Jack as my sister. I see her out among people and she still radiates this spark even with everything that's going on in her life. She doesn't let what's happening dim her sparkle.
I will never forget what she has told me in the past, "no one can ever dim your sparkle because your have glitter in your veins and diamonds in your heart." She lives by that and today was proof of it. Making friends with everyone she came in contact with.
It kills me to have to see my best friend having to settle for something in the mean time because she is more than this, but we all have our time to put our pride aside and just live.
To my best friend,
Thank you for showing me how to live a life of sparkle. No will will ever dim yours because you have glitter that runs through your veins and diamonds in your heart.