One of my best friends called me Friday saying she had gone to the local bank and the teller had treated her with no respect or sentimentality.
My best friend Jacque never cries, she says its because she grew up in a military family, and crying was a sign of weakness. I think that's just her excuse to me since I usually cry as a cooping mechanism. I think Jacque doesn't cry because she's strong... definitely stronger than me. But she started crying telling me her story of what had just happened to her, and I knew that someone had to have treated Jacque so badly to bring out that kind of emotion.
She asked me, "was it me, did I do something to her to make her treat me ugly, all I did was compliment her outfit and compliment her." I told her, absolutely not, she must have some deep rooted anger and you don't know what is going on in her life that she's taking it out on anyone she comes in contact with.
People don't realize it, how someone treats you, it can effect your whole day for the better or worse. We all need to treat everyone we encounter how we would like to be treated, even if our lives are collapsing before us. Come on you guys, we learned treat others with respect and kindness when we were all in kindergarten. We should all know better at this point in our lives.
All I'm saying is treat others you encounter right... even if the world is crumbling at your feet and your life is going miserably wrong. Your actions and words transmit to others around you and without knowing it you could easily ruin someone else's day. Don't allow that to happen to yourself and others around you.
Treating others poorly is a vicious cycle and it will come back to you. Someone out there will treat you badly and you will wonder to yourself, "what did I do to have them treat me in this way?"
I was having a conversation with a trainer at the gym I go to here in Oxford he's writing a book about fitness and nutrition but going deep within yourself as more of a lifestyle change than an actual diet.
We were talking about our books, as you know I'm writing my first motivational book for my age group (high-schoolers to mid to late twenty year olds) and in our conversation we were talking about the importance of self love and self value. That if you have an issue, or a conflict don;t turn to something on the outside to fill in your void, but rather turn to yourself and to Father God.
I'm not here to be that girl everyone secretly hated in high school that always talks about God and who tries to force God upon you. No. That is your choice. I respect you and your faith and where you stand within your faith. I'm sole here to express and share with you that if something is eating you up at night or during the day you don't have to turn to food, alcohol, or anything else to fill in an empty space. You can search deep inside of you to fill that void by the love you have for yourself.
I know we all have our issues, I have my good amount of turmoil that bothers me at night, trust me. But how I get past it is realizing the self love and self confidence I have in myself. I know that my issues are rather small and can be mended by welcoming the right people in my life... which is what I'm working on right now.
The point of this post is this:
Everything is found and a all the questions you need to have answered can be found by going deep within yourself.
For you to truly change something about yourself or an aspect of your life that you don't like anymore (money, career, relationships), you literally have to go through hell and back with each of those aspects becoming so tired of that particular lifestyle that you tell yourself "enough is enough, this cycle of unhappiness ends today!"
Until that pain or overbearing emotional stress consumes you and the tears you've shed haven't become brutal and by the tons, nothing will change and neither will you.
True change occurs when you reach that point of not being able to withstand it anymore.
If you aren't happy in the relationships or friendships your in, you have to change it. Evaluate was aspect of it you don't like and change that.
If you aren't happy about the money you have or the money you lack, go within yourself and see why? What about it do you not like? Do you have no freedom or extra wiggle room to go and buy something you've been wanting or having in your thoughts for a while?
If you don't like your career, what about it is dragging you down?
If you feel the need for change but don't know how entirely to do it, the best way you can start a change is by going deep within yourself and focusing on what you really want.
You have the answers for all your problems, trust in yourself and your intuition to guide you and it will.
Bralettes have been so popular lately because not only of how trendy and feminine they are but also how comfy they feel and the extra boho feel they give to any outfit.
I absolutely love a good bralette because I can turn them into something so casual, throw it under a loose fitting white shirt with some ripped denim jeans and come white converses and I'm ready for a day of shopping or hitting the town, even an Ole Miss Baseball game. But I can also take the same bralette and incorporate it into my night outfit by actually having it be a statement piece to what I am wearing.
I love Free Peoples bralettes, they so many choices and different styles to choose from, they have the classic razor back, the extra comfy halter and the actual bra style and the price is right on point around $30.00 + pretty good if you as me for good quality lace bralettes.
If you have yet to own a braille I think that is something you should definitely invest in for this Summer season and Fall. You defiantly will not regret it and end up having more than you probably should.
I'm starting to find a pattern. Most of my posts have something to do with relationships or singleness. Obviously by the title, this post is no exception.
I'm kind of ashamed to admit this but yes, I've used Tinder on and off since December. I started using it as a way to kinda not think about my psycho ex and his anger issues. I kinda still use it now... but I have a MASSIVE issue with it and the whole concept of finding love on "Tinder."
For starters, I have no idea why I am even on Tinder.
Maybe it's because I want to meet new people and I've always had more guy friends than girlfriends or maybe it's because since all my girlfriends up and moved away from Oxford, I'm left with no one else to spend my time with, therefore, I no longer go out and have human interaction except for when I go to the gym or Kroger/Walmart. Believe me, my girlfriends make fun of me for all my almost daily grocery store trips.
Now let me tell you about Tinder basics or what it's known for just incase you're a martian and have no clue.
It's a "dating" site but really more like a "hookup" "one night stand" type of site... it's not even a site, it's an app.
A shitty app for starters.
I'm not going to get on Match.com or EHarmony so Tinder it is. But let me go ahead and say this now before I become misconstrued or judged, I am not, let me repeat, NOT a hookup girl. I am a hopeless romantic girl and being that type of girl surely doesn't fit in on Tinder.
I don't get it, don't guys ever get sick of being jerks, lying and hurting girls feelings?
I mean if only I could tell you my experiences on Tinder so far you'd be like wtf... I seriously want to go to the person who invented this app and slap them in the face, they'd truly deserve it for sucking as a human being.
I have to give credit where credit is due though, not every guy on there is a jerk. It may also be my area, a bunch of rich, self-intitled Ole Miss/Memphis pricks.
I cannot begin to tell you the amount of guys that get on Tinder with girlfriends. The best part is that Tinder connects to your Facebook friends, so if you're smart like me you can look up the guy your talking to (if you have mutual friends with him) by finding him on your mutual friends Facebook you can actually see what he really looks like and his status if it's single or not... I've seen my fair share of "in a relationship" when I search for them, and I don't just let them get away with it, I call them out. It feels good to let them know what a piece of crap they are. Hopefully they also feel like crap too instead of feeling invincible and fly.
Genius I know... so then why exactly am I on this app?
Oh right, I have no life... and it gives me some form of a life.
But yes, some guys like 75% of them have girlfriends... and they're on this app. Talk about trust these days. And it gets even worse, some of them are out of town for work and hook up with girls in the area and then go back home to their girlfriends as if nothing happened... how sick is that? I hope my brain gets washed because if my future boyfriend goes out of town for "work" I'm now going to be paranoid and go mentally insane due to Tinder and the lack of trust there is now.
Gee,,, thanks Tinder for making guys and society now shittier than it was before.
Now no one can trust anyone anymore and for good reason.
Obviously Tinder isn't in my love cards, so what's the point of keeping this unbearable app?
Nothing thats what. See ya Tinder.
My grandpa along with my dad have always told me that 80% of people you confined in or tell your issues to simply will not care.
They could care less or think you're taking too much time from their daily lives to hear your problems.
It's the truth.
The remains 20% goes to those that will simply get happy to hear of your downfall or your problems/issues because they may realize that what they're going through isn't has bad or rough as you. They could find enjoyment from your pain and suffering.
I'm not saying everyone is like that.
Your family (hopefully) will be neither and your "true" friends should be there no matter what.
The 80/20 I'm talking about is to your distant friends or people you encounter, anyone who you would talk to that's outside your close nit group.
I'm the type of person that I'm very, actually extremely private when it comes to my own matters. I hardly share anything personal unless it to my best girlfriends and still at times I don't really like to say anything.
1. I know my girlfriends are busy and honestly have more things to do than to listen to me complain about something that went wrong or is going wrong something so little that I make into a huge deal.
2. I just simply don't want to feel like a bother, I know I never bother them, I just don't always want to feel like I am.
I'm not saying to hold in what's going wrong, that's not healthy, but simply choose who you want to talk to or with it to. The person you try to escape with and let out steam can do more harm than good to and for you.
So choose wisely my friends.
"The University is respected, but Ole Miss is loved.
"Are you ready? Hell Yeah, Damn Right, Hotty Toddy, Gosh Almighty, Who The Hell Are We, Hey! Film-Flam, Bim-Bam Ole Miss by damn!"
The University is loved, but Ole Miss is adored and cherished for years and by generations to come.
There's something about The University of Mississippi and the picturesque town of Oxford that's just intoxicating.
I know I have my moments of resenting Oxford but that's my choice, based on my personal matters but I truly cannot complain about all the memories, friendships, bonds but most importantly, the education and knowledge along with opportunities I've gained at Ole Miss.
My time has not yet come to leave Oxford and Ole Miss, but when it does that will be the saddest day of my life and a part of me will somewhat be lost until the next time I visit.
Ole Miss is not just a place, it's a home.
Its a lifestyle.
You breathe it in, you feel it, your completely and totally immersed in it and it just totally and completely consumes your being.
It's a magical place.
No one truly wants the leave, its the best 4... 5 years of your life. Its the place where you found who you really are and what you really love to do. The place where tears have been shed and many nights filled with laughter and the good 3 Wise Men have been shared. It's the Velvet Ditch, but most importantly, it's a place you will take with you wherever you end up going next.
Ole Miss, I love you.
Forever you will be in my heart.
Thank you for giving me one more blissful year.
Congratulations 2016 Ole Miss graduates, the many hours of nonstop studying, cramming and coffee runs sure did pay off! Cheers to you today!
Until next year.
So... my 25th birthday was last week, last Tuesday to be more specific and if you read my QUARTER CENTURY post you'd know I'm single...
Like perpetually single.
All my friends (not my close three best friends) are now newly engaged or recently married.
Sad, I know.
Me and my girlfriends are like the women off of Sex and the City except without all the relationship drama because like I've already said three times, we have no relationships to worry about because we're all single.
I was on the phone the other day with my best friend Logan we were talking about how we're too old to keep messing around with the wrong guy or continue on choosing the wrong type.
I have to constantly remind myself that it's not my timing that counts, its the Big Guy above who's time matters, because if we think about it, Father God wants the best for al of his kids.
If we put our fears and our desire in Father Gods hands and we learn to embrace him, dance with him rather, he will and has to let the right man cut in at the right time right?
Right... that's so easy to understand but yet to actually settle with the thought is more difficult.
With everyone around me putting pressure on me to find someone and date someone you kinda have to put faith in God to deliver the right man for me. I'll just have to keep dancing with him until he allows the right man to cut in and finish my dance with.
It's beach season and aren't these pieces above so delicious to be soaking up the rays at the beach or pool side?
I think so!
Each one of these pieces are so unique and so in style I'm dying over all them.
All of these are designed by my favorite swim wear designers.
Until you're empty inside.
I let go all of all the pressure that's in and around me.
I let go of any hostility keeping be from being free today.
I let go of past experiences that keeps me and my emotions blocked and bounded.
I let go any fears that are keeping me stuck, not letting me move forward.
I let go of my hold mentality and mindset.
I release my fears.
I let in everything that is light and good.
I let in love.
I let in success, abundance and prosperity.
I let in only positive, encouraging thoughts.
I love my friends dearly, they are more than just my friends, they are my sisters. I know we think of sisters being of blood relations but thats not always true.
Sometimes, when you aren't related to someone they become more of a family than your own.
I received a group text this morning from two of my best friends, saying they needed my "wonderful signature messages," a good pick me up my best friend Jacque calls it. The context of the pick-me-up focused on the topic of the opposite sex and how they don't know quality when they see it.
As women, this topic hits our core because we always question ourselves, doubting rather, if we did things right or if we could have done something better.
I know I do this quite often with everything, not just with the opposite sex.
My message to them was simple, short and sweet... and I want to pass it along to you. My audience, my friends:
"You all need to look in the mirror and see how wonderful and self-righteous you are. You don't need a man, anything or anyone to tell you and show you what your worth. Don't measure your self-worth by the meaningless and demeaning opposite sex. you are wonderful. Stand tall and firm on this Monday and don't let anyone or anything tell you or show you different!"
Remember my words when you aren't confident in your own shoes or need a little "signature message."
Stand tall and firm knowing you are worth everything and more.
Having revenge on someone or something is not good for yourself and your karma.
Yes, karma is real,
When someone looks down upon you or belittles you when you when you express your dreams, or an idea to create something or do something with your life, don't argue with them. Just stay quiet as much as it may bother you don't respond back, they just want arise from you. Instead, show them off by your actions and constant actions of working towards your goals no matter how many are hating you for it.
I'm not that big of a fan of Beyonce...
I know, I know shocking and I probably just lost some of your interest in saying that.
But it's true, I'm not a complete and uber fan, doesn't mean I don't completely dislike her, but her song "Formation" is probably one of her better songs since "Baby Boy" (in my opinion, remember, everyone is entitled to their own opinion).
But in Formation she talks about haters and how they're corny spreading rumors about her, how her Southern roots influence her, but most importantly, the very last line in the song is "always stay gracious, best revenge is your paper."
What an awesome line that is...
Best revenage to your haters is your paper, you don't have to let them know what you're doing just by showing them your results is enough to make them shut up for eternity... or just long enough for them to realize they were wrong and feel like complete asses about themselves... or even ask you if they can join you.
Next time someone down plays your ability for anything you want to do whether it's money related or an advance in your lifestyle, don't tell them about it, you can if you want to test your friendship with that person, if they will support you through it or think your just plain stupid, but rather put your words into action and show them. It's like the saying, "talk less, do more." Don't talk about it, be about it.
You can do anything you want, but always remember when you get there humility is key.
I know at times we get discouraged and our self-worth dissipates. I'm the first who can talk of this for hours on end, especially, if something I wanted or longed for has gone terrible wrong or didn't even happen.
We feel it is in our nature to self-loathe and mourn every "bad" thing that has happened to us. I'm here today to tell you that needs to S T O P. If only you really knew the harm you are not only doing to yourself but the energy and vibration that you are transmitting through your feelings is one that doesn't need to be send out.
Your probably thinking, "whoa girl, slow down, I didn't even catch a single word of that," or "that totally and completely flew over my head."
Okay. I'll explain.
Everything we do, say, and feel has a certain vibration to it. Take a guitar or any musical instrument. When you strum the cords of the guitar it vibrates and creates a specific sound and rhythm. Some cords are pleasant cords, while others are just downright awful not even an alley cat can handle it. That same vibration is what vibrates when you speak or think something negative.
As humans are brain is 1. a sponge, absorbing everything we think, feel and sense but most importantly, 2. we have over 60,000 thoughts a day. Thats a lot of thoughts right?
Can you imagine if all those thoughts are negative with nothing positive and uplifting? Your life would be completely chaotic and quite frankly troublesome and in shambles. Just think, if all of those thoughts were positive, it would be the complete opposite. Your would literally be soaring and cruising with life.
Needless to say:
The day your life changes is the day your thoughts change. If you can alter your thoughts you can have and conquer anything you'd like.
You are your own magician.
Magic happens everyday when you work towards your dream.
Never let anyone tell you magic does't exist. The people who tell you that it doesn't see a special something in you, a certain flame that's ignited by passion and they want to blow it out for you due to jealously.
What you've accomplished already and are striving on accomplishing is proof enough that magic does exist and it's flowing around and within you.
Today is a very special day for all the momma's and puppy mommas out there.
We all need to take a few moments of our day, if we haven't already, to give thanks and appreciate the love our mommas have given us and shown us up to this point in our lives... no matter how old or young we are. If it wasn't for them we would't be who we are today.
I'm not a mom yet, but I do have the sweetest puppy child in the world... I am a little biased though. Annabella has shown me so many things in the 3 years I've had her that I cannot, literally cannot imagine my life without her. She has shown me how to love unconditionally, to be patient but most importantly she has taught me to take a step back from the world and just live in the moment. Everyday when she wakes up beside me and stares at me with her wide brown eyes I truly give thanks to Father God for placing her in my life and allowing me to be her momma. The way she looks at me with love and adoration is a feeling I can't compare. My day is complete when I'm the only one she wants attention from.
I'm sure that's how all moms feel about their child or children, I know I do somethings and say somethings and I've often at times have tested my moms patient and ability to love, but I know without a shadow of a doubt she will be there for me through think and thin. Thankfully that turbulent time is far, far past me.
Mom, I love you, thank you for loving me, I love because of the love you have shown me.
Happy Mother's Day!